I don’t know about you, but I there are times in my life when I “put on a face” in order to face the world.
As some of you know, I grew up in Malaysia, and I was always told by my mother to be careful about what people see. I was brought up to “save face”. So, I got so used to putting on this mask, facade, that I was in control and everything was great ….
even when things weren’t.
There were a few instances this week, that prompted me to reflect on this mask that we tend to wear, and how it can prevent us from reaching out when we need to. It can also become second nature, and we end up losing who we really are.
Someone once described me as an enigma. I would say that many years of “saving face” and “putting on a face”, despite having been hurt, meant that putting on a face has become second nature. In more recent years, I have started to drop the barriers, but I admit that it doesn’t take much for them to go back up again.
So, when I had an initial consultation call with a business coach, she found it hard to read me. What she did say to me though really hit the mark with her observation, and whenever someone does that, it hurts because it’s true.
The other instances involved an acquaintance and another with a friend. Both are having a tough time and yet, didn’t reach out. One just withdrew and the other revelled in telling everyone and anyone their story. One indicated a relatively true picture on social media of what was happening in their world; the other, indicated one that was the exact opposite.
Whilst we are all different, and no one has the right to judge, what I just wanted to say is, there comes a time when we need to reach out … and reach out honestly …
because we truthfully need help,
rather hiding away or attention seeking.
Know who you can trust, and when you ask for help, be willing to truly listen regardless of how truthful and painful their advise can be, and be open to accept the help.
Till next time … ASx